The Poster That Shouldn't Exist
So last week, I snagged a gorgeous vintage amusement park poster from someone off a local oddities board. Totally free, no questions asked. The person- username was something like 'ndskylark88'- messaged me once, sent a drop address, then nuked their account not even 24 hours later. Which was already odd, but it wasn't the weirdest part.
They threw in a teddy bear. Not part of the listing. Just... included. More on that in a sec.
Behold: Whistlepark Funfair!
Here's the poster (scan and cleaned up edit below- yes, you can download the high-res if you're into preservation porn like me). It's a promo for Whistlepark Funfair, which, as far as the entire internet is concerned, does NOT exist.
The poster's in incredible condition- no rips, no scorch marks, not even folding creases. But it smells. Like burnt sugar. Not old attic mildew, not thrift shop vinyl- burnt carnival sugar. You know the smell. It clings to the paper, even after a full night in the open air.
I thought maybe it was a fake, but when I scanned it in and ran it through a little color correction wizardry (I've been doing this a while), the smell came back after printing a copy- with my own printer and ink.
Where's Whistlepark?
Here's the kicker. I've tried everything. Library archives. City records. Deep forums. Multiple search engines. There is zero trace of Whistlepark Funfair. No business registry. No newspaper ads. No retro blogs. And get this- my Google search history? Missing. Like I never looked.
If any of you internet sleuths or digital archaeologists out there can find anything about it a name, a location, anything- hit me up. If your lead turns out solid, I'll send you the bear- if you really wow me. More on the bear HERE.
